


Do you think this is a joke

by Ice-teal (TaeHNG)



Category: Free!
Genre: Crack, Hair, M/M, Porn, Smut, absolute crack, day3, future fish, paper, scissors, sourinweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-21 04:15:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4814570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaeHNG/pseuds/Ice-teal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin is a police officer, and someone keeps breaking into the police station to leave STICKY-NOTES ON RIN’S DESK. Rin is incredibly frustrated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: pretty much crack that should not be taken seriously. Also lots of angry unnecessary swearing.
> 
>  
> 
> [This fic on Tumblr](http://ice-teal.tumblr.com/post/129252318086/do-you-think-this-is-a-joke)

It's a rowdy morning at Iwatobi Police Station yet again.

“Again! What the fuck? Check the security cams.” Seijuurou orders.

“Chief, we already did. There’s nothing.” Someone replies.

“What, like it’s been wiped or replaced? Or tampered with?” Seijuurou demands, leaning with a palm on the surface of someone's desk.

“No, it was running the entire time. It didn’t catch any suspicious events.”

“Then why the fuck are all the doors unlocked and the alarm tripped?” Seijuurou throws his hands up in the air. “And nothing is missing for tampered with?”

His question is met with silence as everyone looks at each other. “Come on guys, anything. They didn't let you live through the academy for this useless pile of nothing. If you have any information you need to speak up immediately.”

“Erm.” Rin sweats nervously and raises his hand.

“Matsuoka.”

“Sir, I don’t know if one of our boys did it or…?”

“Doesn’t matter. Just say it.” Seijuurou says impatiently.

“Um. There’s a sticky note on my desk?” Rin says sheepishly, slightly flustered.

The chief stares at him. “What, you misplaced your stationary?”

“Well. It’s… been here every morning there’s been a break-in.” He mutters uncomfortably.

“Are they threatening messages? Let’s see them.” Seijuurou motions for Rin to hand it over.

“Um…” Rin hesitates a bit, before haphazardly collecting a small pile of slightly crumpled sticky notes and holding it out to the chief.

Seinuurou snatches it up and immediately begins reading them out loud to the gathering crowd of curious officers and cadets. Rin is feeling what many people would describe as "mortified".

"'Hi, I like your hair.'" Seijuurou reads monotonously, and flips to the next one. "What the hell? 'It's really bright and pretty, I bet it's super soft.' Next one says, 'Will you let me touch it some time? I will be very careful I promise.'"

Everyone starts to laugh. Rin huffs in annoyance and points at someone random, yelling, "If one of you did it, I'm going to let you touch my hair... while I use it to STRANGLE THE LAST BREATH FROM YOUR BODY!"

There's just more laughter, and Rin isn't sure if they're laughing at him or with him.

"Shut up," Seijuurou orders very professionally and continues reading, "'Hey sorry, I hope you don't mind that I broke into your drawer to look around. Nice to meet you Officer Rin Matsuoka!'"

Seijuurou looks up at Rin with quirked eyebrows. "So someone is sporadically breaking and entering the damn police station once every month to write you sticky otes about your hair? What the hell, Matsuoka?"

Rin puts his hands up defensively. "I swear I have no idea who this is."

"Read the last one, chief!" Someone jumps up and yells, followed by loud agreement by lots of amused law enforcement personnel. Rin is very much not amused.

"Ok, last one, from this morning I assume, says, 'Sometimes when I'm sad I think about your pretty hair and it makes me feel better. Thanks.' And then there's a smiley face."

There's sitcom laughter again, and someone falls to his knees on the floor, giggling. It's Kisumi, of course. "Ohhh mannn. Rin you have a secret admirer who breaks into police stations!"

"Ok, ok. Rin, I wish you well on your new relationship. I need you, you, and you to move the security cameras and set up new ones. Definitely one by Rin's desk."

For the entire rest of the day, 4 people ask to touch Rin's hair, and when threatened with various creative methods of torture, at least 2 of them claimed it will probably be worth it. Rin's ears are probably going to be permanently warm and pink from now on.

Deciding that enough was enough, Rin spends he evening camped out by the station, keeping an eye on all entrances. Plus, they have new security up, and the sticky-note author might actually get caught this time. Rin briefly wonders why he would care. Obviously only a dangerous criminal would know how to break and enter without a trace.

No one shows up that day, or the day after. Ok, someone like that would probably vet the place to check out new security, Rin thinks. Obviously they would update security every time it happens. He stops trying to stake out the place every night, and instead leaves a sticky-note of his own under the base of his desk lamp.

A month or so later, the sticky note disappears without a trace, but no alarms are triggered. Rin hopes none of his coworkers found the sticky. That would be embarrassing. He spends the whole day feeling jumpy. Every time Seijuurou says his name, he snaps around, waiting for him to hold out the note and ask why Rin was consorting with a criminal. Since no one mentions anything, Rin assumes the cat burglar -- in the sense of a cat that brings in dead rodents -- had indeed taken it. Rin scoffs. Cocky bastard. It's like the alarms being set off before was done on purpose, to get attention. And now that Rin has given his attention, the mystery character sits back quietly, very content with a job well done.

Early the next morning, his personal cell rings, and he picks up immediately. But definitely not because he's been playing with it in his hands constantly since getting back from work, and fell asleep with it under his pillow. He pulls it away from his face quickly to squint at the caller ID on the too-bright screen for his sleepy-sensitive eyes. Unknown, of course. Rin feels a rush of excitement pump through his veins. Probably only because he's about to solve a mystery.

"Hello." A deep voice rasps through the phone, trickling into Rin's ear and invades his head.

"Who the hell are you?" Rin demands angrily, staring at the ceiling above his bed.

"I'm Sousuke." The voice replies evenly.

Well. That was pretty easy. Too easy. "But what's your REAL name?" Rin snarks.

Sousuke, if that's his name, laughs at the other end, genuinely delighted. "I have no reason to lie to you, Rin. My name is Sousuke Yamazaki."

Rin bristles at such a bold statement. For some reason, hearing the stranger say his name sounds strangely, uncomfortably intimate. Creepy, even. Rin is absolutely not affected by the delectable sex voice.

"Ok, and what the fuck do you hope to accomplish with these stunts?"

"Hmmm. Depends. Are they listening?"

Rin assumes he means other officers. Like what Rin should have done, instead of leaving a potential dangerous criminal his phone number.

"Yes." He lies.

"It's just you isn't it?" Sousuke chuckles. "I knew you wouldn't turn me in."

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Rin snaps back.

"I'll see you later, Rin!" Sousuke promises, and the line goes dead.

Rin gapes at his phone until the screen goes dark again. He immediately decides to he needs to know who "Sousuke Yamazaki" is right  _now_. It's barely 5 in the morning, but he hops out of bed with vigour and skips his morning jog, going directly to the station after a few pieces of quick toast.

When he arrives, he finds that someone's stolen his parking space. Of all the empty parking spaces here at this early hour, they take his!! The nerve! On a second glance, it's not even a police vehicle. It's not even a car! There's a fucking  _motorcycle_  in the middle of his parking spot. Also, there's someone sitting on the motorcycle. Great, he can tell him off then, and get his parking spot back.

He pulls into the next space a bit too jerkily with hotheaded annoyance and rolls down the window, and shouts into the chill morning air, "Hey! Get out of my parking space, punk!"

The helmeted head turns to him. The man sits back and pulls black gloves off of long slender fingers to reveal impressively large hands. Rin watches as deft fingers unclip the chin straps under the helmet with practiced ease. This guy is much bigger than him, and Rin feels a little worried for the first time.

But then the helmet comes off, and the man gives his hair a shake, tucking the helmet under an arm, an smiles an absolutely  _blinding_  smile at Rin. The red head is stunned into silence. If asked later, he'll tell you he was probably hypnotised by illegal technology because those cerulean eyes are fucking unreal.

"...Holy shit." Rin didn't mean to say that.

Mr Gorgeous-Ass Fucking-Stranger smirks at him from his confident perch upon the bike. "Like what you see?"

Rin snaps back to reality and backtracks. "Wha- No! I was just telling you to get out of my spot!"

Seriously, who the fuck is so conceited they just say that to strangers?

And then the biker says "Oh," smile fading, and for some reason Rin felt like he did something wrong.

"Because, I was just going to say, I definitely like what I see. A lot. Sorry if I sounded like a dick."

Rin stares dumbly, more confused than he's ever been in his life. What.

Mr Smoking-Hot Tall-Ass Sex-Hair smiles again and stretches a huge hand out to Rin's window. "I'm Sousuke. We... Spoke on the phone?"

Rin makes absolutely no attempt to shake that hand.

"DO YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE?" He shrieks, and Sousuke jumps a little. "Fucking  _hell_ , who the fuck  _does_  that, huh? Is this a fucking joke to you?"

Sousuke looks at him confusedly. "...No... I was trying to be romantic. Like you know. Chick flicks. And romantic comedies. And trashy fanfiction."

"Oh my sweet lord." Rin resists the urge to face-plant himself into the steering wheel out of first- and second-hand embarrassment. "Are you like a horny teenager trying to get into some school girl's panties?"

Sousuke blinks. "Well, you're not a girl. I don't think."

"I- what?" Rin does a double take. "Are... Are you saying you're a teenager?"

He's gonna go to jail for thinking about child-dick for the past 2 minutes.

"I'm 19." Sousuke says worriedly. "I'm too young, aren't I? You think I'm a kid."

Ok nevermind, he's NOT going to jail. But still. This has got to be wrong on some level tight? Like Seijuurou's probably tapped into his head and is going to arrest him for being unable to stop thinking about this kid's  _sex hands_  and  _sex eyes_  and  _sex voice_  and  _sex hair_  and wide  _sex shoulders_  and just sex. Copious amounts of sex. He's probably got a fucking monstrous cock. Of course he also rides a motorcycle and dresses in all black. Rin actually does bang his head a few times on his steering wheel, accompanied by a series of groans. Frustration. Mostly sexual frustration. Rin feels like a nearly-deceased grandparent.

"Are you ok?" Sousuke asks, leaning down to loom at Rin through the window.

"You know what?" Rin says, looking back up at Sousuke. "I won't think too much about it if you don't."

Sousuke looks surprised, then grins. "Ok. Can I touch your hair then?"

Oh fuck. Rin's nearly forgotten about this one's obsession with his hair.

"Yes, you can fucking run your bloody sex fingers through my god forsaken hair." Rin groans. "But then we are going to go somewhere and you are going to put your body parts on my body parts, preferably naked. Ok?"

Sousuke looks delighted and not the slightest bit perturbed. "Ok, deal."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sourin has a romp in the sheets and Rin finds out how he got into this situation in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally intended for Sourin week but I couldn’t churn it out in time. OTL
> 
> I didn’t intend to write this when I wrote the first one, so I had to shift some stuff around. You can check out some slight changes near the end of the last chapter if you want to know!
> 
> WARNING: NOTHING BUT UNNECESSARY AU SOURIN SMUT AHEAD and also mistakes m because this is unbeta'd.

Even though the sky is just blushing up prettily for the oncoming morning, Rin stills dutifully says, “Ok, I really need to go work. But, don’t keep breaking into the station, ok? Mikoshiba is gonna skin you because it’s his baby. And your skin is really pretty and that would be a loss for all humankind.”

“Ok.” Sousuke nods. “When can I see you again?”

Rin shrugs. “You have my number. Text me.”

Sousuke nods, eyes bright and leans his head into Rin’s window. “Can I have a kiss?”

“No, you punk!” Rin shoves his head back out, “Don’t get so comfortable! Besides, you could get arrested here for pulling those stunts.”

Sousuke’s teal eyes twinkle again, and he says something along the lines of “wouldn’t mind if the arresting officer was you” while pulling the helmet back on his head.

Rin watches as he buckles it up again, slides the gloves on, leans forward, and with a purr of the engine, arcs away out of the station lot.

Rin returns to his rightful parking spot, and continues on with his day, thinking he’s probably going to hell or something for being this attracted to practically a baby. Well, Sousuke is a babe.

* * *

Rin does look into Yamazaki Sousuke, and gets no real information besides a high school graduation. It’s a work day filled with paperwork and phone calls, and only one interrogation. Crime rate isn’t very high in a town like this, but sometimes Rin feels like a lame cop. One who just files things while carrying a gun. Thankfully, the joke about his hair isn’t as hilarious as it was yesterday to these slackers, and Rin gets some reprieve.

As he’s just procrastinating on sorting another box, his phone buzzes in his pocket.

There’s a text from an actual number this time, and it says “Come out in 5?”

Rin sighs in relief at having an excuse to leave, and shoves the box to the dungeon it came from. He kind of questions his sanity yet again. Maybe this is a bad idea. It was early and Rin was high strung, maybe that just made him more susceptible to awkward tall attractive boys than usual. He calls out some goodbyes and follow the slow trickle of people leaving for the day. Kisumi sends him a wink, and Rin looks at him, confused. All he gets is 2 thumbs up. What a weird guy.

The sun is setting, and the biting chill hits him as he exits the building. He walks towards his car, hand shielding his eyes from the direct rays of orange light from the setting sun clinging low on the west horizon. A loud  _vroom_  interrupts him.

It’s Sousuke and his damn bike. He waves at Rin to come over.

Rin steps into the parking lot, heading for the figure all in black, helmet on his head.

“What?” Rin asks haughtily.

Then, the helmet comes off again, and Rin is punched in the gut by how devastatingly handsome Sousuke is. Shouldn’t he be out getting laid by 3 girls at once instead of stalking Rin like an awkward boy just hitting puberty?

“Hey.” Sousuke says, grinning.

“Hey.” Rin breaths, unable to tear his eyes away. Fuck he’s already in way over his head.

Sousuke holds out his helmet to Rin and jerks his head for Rin to get on. Rin cocks an eyebrow. “And leave my car here?”

Sousuke rolls his crystal eyes at Rin obnoxiously and it really shouldn’t be as sexy as it is. “It’s in a police station, Rin.”

Rin huffs and looks back at his car. “Didn’t stop certain people from breaking in…”

Sousuke looks sufficiently satisfied when Rin slides the helmet onto his head. He fumbles a bit with the straps, but can NOT understand what is going on down there. It’s under his chin. His eyes can’t reach.

Sousuke laughs and pulls rin forward by the belt loop to do it himself, almost knocking him off balance. Rin’s sure he’s blushing, and thanks the deities for the darkened shield over his face. Sousuke’s fingers brush his neck a few times as he quickly buckles him into the helmet. The entire space inside smells like shampoo and boy. Rin feels weird, inhaling the scent of Sousuke with every breath.

Sousuke turns forward again, hair mussed gently by the evening wind. Rin sighs, and making sure no one is watching, climbs onto the back of the motorcycle.

“Hold on tight.” Sousuke warns. “And just tilt with the turns, not against.”

The initial acceleration makes Rin jerk back, and he yelps and clings to Sousuke’s back. The guy is radiating heat like a nuclear reactor, and it seeps in through Rin’s clothes where they’re touching. Rin moves closer his upper body closer since he’s confined to stay in the back seat, and soon his hands are on Sousuke’s waist, slipping beneath his jacket into the toasty in-between layer.

“Where are we going?” Rin shouts over the engine humming in their ears and vibrating between his legs.

Sousuke glances back. “My place!”

“You don’t live with your parents, do you?”

Sousuke laughs, and Rin feels it even above the purr of the engine. “No.”

By the time Sousuke pulls into a parking lot, signalling their arrival, Rin has discovered that Sousuke is quite toned, and was currently groping him under his jacket through his shirt shamelessly.

“Geez, Rin.” Sousuke groans as fingers flutter over his taut stomach.

Rin grins unremorsefully and removes his hands to pull off his helmet after hurriedly pulling off the buckles. “C'mon, c'mon, let’s go in.“

They end up running through the halls like kids, laughing breathlessly, and piling into Sousuke’s flat.

Sousuke is trying to lock the door behind him while toeing off his shoes, but Rin is already tugging at his jacket distractingly.

“C'mon, off. Off off, I want to see exactly how fucking ripped you are.” Rin commands breathlessly, hands skittering over Sousuke’s chest and shoulders.

“Shit.” Sousuke finally gets the door locked after fumbling around with it, and immediately does as he’s told.

Rin unhelpfully tries to help peel the clothing off of Sousuke, which Sousuke delightedly found very endearing. A second later, all thoughts leave his head when Rin trails his fingers up and down his front, sides, back, arms.

“Fuck, Sousuke, look at you. Proper greek god statue come to life.” Rin mutters, and presses his own chest heavily to Sousuke’s, leaning in to nuzzle at his neck.

Sousuke lets out a shaky breath tilts his head back onto the door, arms glued at his sides, like he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to touch. It’s unbelievably cute, which reminds Rin uncomfortably of their age difference.

“You can use your hands, you know.” Rin mumbles into Sousuke’s ears, all of his weight on the taller boy as he tip-toes to reach.

Sousuke immediately slides his hands up Rin’s back and goes for the hair, pulling the ponytail loose with one hand. Rin slides back down to plant his heels back on the ground, and sousuke leans in to bury his nose in the loose strands and inhales.

“Well? Is it everything you’ve dreamed it would be?” Rin teases, hands coming up to interlace with Sousuke’s fingers in his hair.

“Fuck, yeah.” Sousuke mumbles with a hot breath fanning over Rin’s forehead, curling his fingers deliciously. “Christ. You’re so hot in your uniform.”

“You’ve got quite the uniform kink, huh?” Rin rumbles as he slots his thigh between Sousuke’s legs and presses. The younger is noticeably stiff in his pants and Rin can feel the hardness of the length dig into his thigh. Ah, to be young and virile.

Sousuke groans long and low, giving Rin’s thigh an aborted hump, and pants semi-coherently, “No, no it’s just you. Bed, bed, please.”

Rin stumbles back as he’s pushed by the freight train that is Sousuke with hands in his hair and lips all over his face, awkwardly through a partially opened doorway, and lowers himself onto the mattress. In an instant, Sousuke is kneeling over him with knees on either side of Rin’s thighs, leaning in close.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispers tentatively.

Rin almost rolls his eyes at the absurd question. Instead, he grabs the dumb kid’s face and smacks their lips together impatiently, hard and fast. Sousuke makes a surprised “oomph” noise, and the reaction makes Rin feel like he’s on fire. He’s suddenly impatient, and is overtaken by a heady desire to claim the dark haired boy. Rin physically pries Sousuke’s jaws open with rough fingers pushing on his chin, and licks forcefully into his mouth, driven crazy by the slightest scent of pine that he’s realised is pure  _Sousuke_. Sousuke opens up obediently and lets Rin slobber all over him.

Their teeth click and tongues push and spit is dripping down his chin and it’s so, so messy. It feels like a moment of animalistic insanity when nothing matters besides devouring each other whole. Sousuke is gasping out little breaths from his nose and mouth whenever he gets a chance, and rolling his upper body onto Rin’s unconsciously. At some point, Rin gets a glimpse of his lust-hazed teal eyes roll up into his head with a flutter of dark eyelashes.

He pulls away with his hands on Sousuke’s face, because he wants to see what he’s done. Open lips are spit-shined and a scandalous shade of red, chest heaving with pants. Rin slides his thumb across the slickness and into Sousuke’s open mouth, and Sousuke just stays limp and lets him do as he wishes.

Rin wants to absolutely wreck him.

He reluctantly withdraws his fingers from Sousuke’s willing mouth, tugs him down to a sitting position on the bed, and climbs onto his lap. Sousuke’s eyes widen when he sees Rin reach for his hand cuffs.

“You want?” Rin asks gruffly, clicking the metal cuffs open with a practiced motion.

Sousuke nods quickly, jerkily, and shudders in anticipation. “Yeah, fuck, yeah. Anything you want, Rin.”

Leaning forward to push Sousuke onto his back, Rin licks his earlobe and promises, “I’ll take care of you.”

Sousuke groans and slips a hand between his legs to palm himself. Rin catches the hand and clicks a cuff on, then pulls his arm above his head by the wrist. He has to tug at Sousuke to get him to scoot a little bit so the cuffs reach a bed post. Sousuke complies wordlessly, staring at Rin openly with something akin to wonder in his eyes. Rin doesn’t know how he can ever get enough of that. The second the other cuff clicks over the younger’s left wrist, Rin is sliding down to unbuckle his pants. Sousuke twitches upwards, dick straining visibly in his pants. Rin smirks up at him and keeps his hands well above the crotch. Sousuke groans and tenses his body in frustration at the lack of contact. Rin makes quick work of the pants, pulling off his socks along with them. With only a thin layer restricting the straining cock, Rin can tell how sizeable it probably is.

Rin bites his lips and leans down to plant kisses all over Sousuke’s taut belly, trailing lower and lower, until the boy under him is whining and canting his hips up again. It’s only now that Rin can tell how young he is beneath the grown exterior he first presents.

“Please- come on.” Sousuke grunts, expression almost pouty.

Rin licks his lips and backs off again. Sousuke watches with lust-heavy eyes as Rin strips himself methodically, sea-bream eyes following his every move and drinking in each new plane of exposed skin. Rin feels like a right porn star under the heavy gaze. Sousuke’s fingers clench and unclench, until Rin pulls off his briefs, and Sousuke does a full-body shudder, gaze locked onto the prize. Rin licks his hand for a good measure and wraps his fingers around his own pulsing dick, eyes fluttering at the relief. Sousuke, who had stayed valiantly quiet, jerks on his bound hands and pushes out a throaty moan at the sight of slender fingers cradling Rin’s pretty cock.

“What?” The red-head asks cheekily, a little breathy from his own ministrations.

“God- Rin. I want to touch you so bad. You’re so fucking pretty.” Sousuke confesses in a quietly strained voice.

Rin drinks in the compliment with dark eyes and hoards the sight of the chiseled boy spread out onto the bed before him, hair mussed, eyes dark, lips bitten red, cuffed to a bed post. Rin is almost embarrassingly turned on. Who’s the teenager here?

“Fucking hell, Sousuke. Do you know what a mess you are? So fucking hot.” Rin growls and yanks the last piece of clothing away from his victim.

Sousuke pants in anticipation and spreads his legs to make room for Rin.

“Touch me, touch me, touch me,” Sousuke chants, “Wanna feel you.”

Everything speeds up after that, and Rin feels like the world became a blur outside their bubble. He wraps his hand tightly around Sousuke’s thick, pulsing dick and tugs with fervor.

“Ohoh shit.” Sousuke hisses as his eyes roll into the back of his head, and he arches insanely off the bed at first contact.

His dick is an angry color and hot in Rin’s palm, and it’s driving the usually collected officer wild with lust. Precum beads at the tip, spreading out with every pump of Rin’s hand. It’s pulsating like a heartbeat, and Sousuke has his head tilted down to watch, entranced by the sight of Rin manhandling his cock.

When Rin slinks upwards and give his nipple a good lick, Sousuke groans Rin’s name in an absolutely wanton voice, laden with arousal.

Rin’s body reacts violently to the sound of his name rasped in that tone, and he growls into Sousuke’s chest, grinding down harshly with his hips and connecting their hips.

“Christ, you’re a fucking  _sight_  to see.” He groans, eyeing Sousuke like a hungry animal. “Really fucking want your cock inside me.”

Sousuke makes a desperate little noise and tilts his head back a little manically, veins and tendons visibly taut.

“Yes, fuck, yes I want.” He wheezes as his dick jerks violently. “Fuck. Fuck, Rin. Please. I want to touch you. Please please.” Sousuke pleads hips canting up as Rin slicks a finger in his mouth.

Rin sitting on the younger boy’s stomach, leaning back to expose his ass. Sousuke is straining to raise his head.

“Tired of the cuffs already, Yamazaki?” Rin teases, making a show of throwing his head back and moaning loudly as he sinks a finger into himself.

Predictably, Sousuke’s eyes widen at the sight of the finger embedding itself into Rin’s tight hole and he thrashes wildly against his restraints.

“God, Rin.  _Please_.” He begs breathily, pupils blown wide open.

Rin takes pity on him, and leans forward again to reach the handcuffs, one hand propped on Sousuke’s chest for leverage. The key is attached, so it’s quickly unlocked. In a split second, Sousuke’s rough palms are burning a course trail over his body. How could he forget about those huge fucking hands?

Sousuke touches every spot feverishly, as if racing to map out Rin’s entire body, giving his leaking dick a few strokes in the process. Rin spreads his legs wider and rolls his hips into the motion. Sousuke curses prettily.

A moment later, a thumb breaches his puckered entrance and Rin whines as lust curls in his belly at the crudeness. Then, Sousuke growls and sits up, causing Rin to fall back onto the bed. The dark-haired man leans in to lick Rin’s mouth and then seal their lips together in a heated kiss. Without warning, Rin feels himself getting flipped over effortlessly by the taller and catches himself on his hands and knees.

That’s when the handcuffs click into place over his wrists. How does Sousuke even know how to work them so speedily?

He turns his head and gapes at Sousuke, who just smirks at him and pulls Rin’s knees apart to spread his ass. Rin almost face plants into the bed from the harsh movement and gasps at the new vulnerable position, ass in the air for Sousuke to do as he pleases.

The click of lube startles him, and he jumps when the cold liquid drips down his crack. Sousuke kneads his asscheek in one giant hand, and uses the other to massage the lube around his twitching entrance. Rin shudders, still off balance with his hands bound together, legs spread painfully wide, and cock hanging stiffly between them.

“So damn pretty.” Sousuke mumbles in a gravelly voice, massaging the lubed-up asshole. Sousuke curses softly again at Rin’s responsive twitching and uses both hands to spread Rin’s cheeks, putting the dark pucker on full display. Rin gasps, blushing fiercely at the sudden embarrassment at being so exposed and clenches unconsciously.

“Sousuke…” He pants as evenly as he can manage. “Stop. teasing.”

Sousuke complies, and sinks one long finger into the slick hole, sucking in a breath at the tight flesh surrounding it, heat shooting straight to his dick. Rin gasps and dips his head onto his hands, unable to hold back a groan at the overwhelming arousal from a single finger breaching his most intimate parts. Sousuke thrusts a few times slowly, and then pulls out to slide in another along with it. Rin’s insides squeeze while he pants loudly, head resting on his fists. Sousuke pulls in and out hypnotically, feeling the drag, then starts to twist and curl and scissor his fingers, pulling and prodding at Rin hot insides.

Rin’s moans are coming out as more of a series of gasps, feeling Sousuke’s long fingers stroking him. His hips start to grind in aborted motions of their own accord at both the discomfort and lust.

Sousuke mutters soft curses and strokes the dusky flesh of Rin’s hole stretching pliably around his fingers. “Does it feel good? My fingers inside you?”

Rin nods wordlessly, letting out a few slutty moans in response to how unraveled Sousuke sounds already.

Sousuke pushes another finger in with less hesitancy, kissing the small of Rin’s back while he starts genuinely fucking him with the three fingers.

Rin cries out at the sudden change of pace and closes his eyes tight against the blinding jolt of pleasure.

“Oh, fuck- fuck me Sousuke, c'mon- just put your huge cock inside already, else I’m gonna- gonna come from your ruthless fucking fingers, shit.” He rambles half-coherently, craving for the more fulfilling stretch of a heavy cock.

“Fuck, ok, alright.” Sousuke breathes, withdrawing his fingers too fast and scrambling up to slap on a condom. Rin would laugh if he wasn’t so painfully turned on.

Sousuke is back much later than he would have liked, but the first press of the unmistakable head against his stretched and ready hole has Rin almost crying in anticipation.

The long “aaaahhs” turn into choked cries when the head breaches the tight entrance and Rin can’t stop the tight clench of his muscles at the large fucking intrusive object.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck. Holy shit. Hnng.” Sousuke chants, trying not to move, channeling his energy into squeezing and stroking at Rin’s dripping cock.

“No, stop I swear, I’m gonna whiz everywhere if you don’t stop that now.” Rin whimpers, shuddering helplessly beneath Sousuke encompassing frame.

Sousuke complies, and opts for some tiny thrusts instead, pushing further and further into the frontier.

“God, your  _hole_.” He moans deliriously.

Rin clenches with a downright slutty moan, and Sousuke accidentally bucks, ramming the last inches of his rock-hard erection into Rin’s ass. Rin yells out Sousuke’s name in pained surprise as he’s forcefully seated to the hilt.

“Shit!” Sousuke curses between a moan, “Fuck I didn’t mean- sorry- are you ok?”

“Shut… Up…” Rin grits out, breathing sharply, eyes screwed closed in pain, sphincter spasming around the intrusion.

“Ahh- Haah-” Sousuke gasps helplessly hot breaths onto Rin’s neck at the waves of intense pleasure, dutifully frozen still.

“Move, come on. Fucking move.” Rin nudges him demandingly, the smarting fading enough that lust takes over again.

Sousuke is hesitant, having spent the last 2 minutes practicing his Lamaze breathing. “You sure?”

His voice is cracked and throaty and  _yes_  Rin is mother fucking sure.

There are no more mishaps, and Sousuke fucks Rin into his mattress expertly until the redhead can’t take the strain of the position anymore.

Sousuke swaps the enticing view of his dick sheathing itself repeatedly into Rin’s swallowing hole for a front-row seat to his flushed expressions as moans are fucked out of his pretty throat, wine red hair splayed carelessly everywhere.

Sousuke may have died and gone to heaven.

Rin claws across the expanse of Sousuke’s back when his mouth finds a strategic spot on the redhead’s neck, and almost screams Sousuke’s name into his ear when he grinds into him deep and swipes over the leaking tip of Rin’s jerking dick.

One last accurate press of Sousuke’s cock to his prostate is all it takes for Rin to buck wildly off the bed and come all over their stomach, almost writhing off of Sousuke’s dick in the process.

Sousuke comes to muffled shouts and tight orgasm clenches around his cock, burying his own moans into Rin’s sweat slick neck.

They end up a panting mess, Sousuke still clutching Rin’s body tightly to himself as he rolls to the side.

“Fuck.” Rin summarises.

Sousuke laughs breathlessly. “Yeah.”

“You can… Take your dick out of me now.” Rin tries to say dryly.

“Sorry.” Sousuke mumbles as he slips out.

Rin whimpers a bit, and Sousuke’s dick really likes that. He ends up tossing the condom into the trash with a 3-pointer and opting to lay there, winded.

“You and your many talents.” Rin grumbles.

Sousuke raises an eyebrow. “Sorry, which?”

“Your  _aim_  for one,” Rin sasses and Sousuke laughs. “Your level of attractiveness should be considered a talent. And don’t forget breaking into police stations.”

Sousuke huffs in surprised amusement. “I didn’t actually break into the PD you know.”

Rin gapes at him for a good 20 seconds. “What.”

“That would be ridiculous.” Sousuke says matter-of-factly, smiling half into the pillow.

“Then. How. What-” Rin splutters.

“Kisumi left the notes for me, after you leave, since no one else but you will look on your desk til morning. And then I guess he just either gets there first to unlock all the doors or just tells everyone they were unlocked.”

“The alarm.” Rin demands.

“Ah. That one I do. Honestly, all it takes is little rough-housing with the fences.” Sousuke recalls with a grin, “PD alarm is  _so_  easy to set off.”

Rin groans in disbelief. “I can’t believe I was so impressed. This entire relationship is based on lies.”

“Relationship?”

Rin splutters more, and violently kisses the shit-eating grin off of Sousuke’s stupidly sexy face.

* * *

The next morning, Kisumi finds a sticky note on his desk written in very angry caps, paper dented all the way to the back with the force of the pressing. It says:

"DO YOU THINK THIS IS A FUCKING JOKE. I’M NOT SPEAKING TO YOU FOR AT LEAST A WEEK."

Rin later finds a reply note after lunch that reads:

“That’s ok, your throat probably needs the rest after all that screaming. I understand.”

Rin immediately crumples it and slams it into the trash, blushing beet red to the roots of his hair, muttering about revenge.

Kisumi watches with a knowing smirk and promises to treat himself to something nice for a job well done.


End file.
